Dear Lord, my heart is crying out for more of You. My heart is dumb. My lacrimal gland is fully functional. And my brain is weak. I may not understand everything now but I am putting my complete trust in Your hands. Thy will be done. Amen.

1st day of 2012

i walked. for 30 minutes i just walked. not sure of where to go to. until i reached the open beach in Abu Dhabi. i stayed there looking at the beauty of the moon and the stars in the sky, feeling the breeze on my skin, listening to the sweet and calming sound of the sea.

talking to no one, I suddenly feel the urge of singing a song for Jesus Christ. i just want to praise Him during that time. i know i am not a good singer but for that moment I don't care. i sing and sing and sing of praises for Him.

i talked. He listened. I cried. the pain is trying to destroy me, i know that for sure, but He comforted me. He listened to every word I have to say. the pain is just too much i know i can no longer bear it, He carry my load. I cry and sing for quite some time.

15 minutes before 2012, two Arabian Family seat beside me. they both have a lovely child. one was girl (Maram) and the other was boy (Omar). we didn't talk at first. the baby boy just keeps on crying and crying while the baby girl (who's older) just play around. at 12, there were fireworks. the baby boy again cried so the mother was left with no choice but carry her child. they were just beside me. the boy looks at me and guess what? he smiled. every time i would look at the boy, he smiles and stares at me.

his mommy: this little naughty boy smiled at you. i think he likes you and the reason why he's crying awhile ago is because he can't see you clearly. see? he stops crying.

me: and i think you have a very lovely little boy.

another hour past without me noticing the time. the boy and i just play and laugh. the family talks to me too. they know some tagalog words like: magandang gabi. maganda ka. ano ang mobile number mo? and san ka nakatira. haha. so loveee talking to them.i really wanted to stay but i badly need to go because the house was far from the beach and it will take me another 30 minutes of walk to be able to go home..

me: i think i need to say bye for now.

his mom: oh, for sure he will miss you. thank you for your time thess. we're glad to meet you.

me: me too. your boy made my day. i was so sad awhile ago but when he smiles at me, all the pain was gone.

his mom: oh. he must have felt it and wanted to see you smile too. and thank you for your smile, yours is the sweetest smile i've ever seen, no kidding.

me: thank you. you have a wonderful family.

them: happy new year thess and merry Christmas. (they've greeted me merry Christmas though they are muslims hehe)

omar: (laughs then gave me a high five)

and i must say, that was the most spectacular new year celebration for me, ever!! a long time for my God and His gift. His unexpected gift of smile from a little boy. Oh how I love Jesus Christ. He never fails me. :) This is a good year for me, an overcomer I will be, because God remains in me. :)

Faith

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.-Hebrews 11:1"

Faith means following when we don't know the destination and accepting when we don't know the consequences.

As I browse Yahoo, I've read a short lecture about faith written in the 19th Century:

Basically, men showed faith or asked questions in faith to get those miraculous visions and directions. Those men, picked as prophets and revelators of God, were given experiences above and beyond the gifts given to normal men in order to direct us toward God's will when it is most needed.

So with man also - he spoke by faith in the name of God, and the sun stood still, the moon obeyed, mountains removed, prisons fell, lions’ mouths were closed, the human heart lost its enmity, fire its violence, armies their power, the sword its terror, and death its dominion; and all this by reason of the faith which was in them

Had it not been for the faith which was in man, they might have spoken to the sun, the moon, the mountains, prisons, lions, the human heart, fire, armies, the sword, or to death in vain!

A Child of God

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. - John 1:12

Remain strong in your faith, no matter how many mistakes God's children make along the way of growing up, we are still destined for Grace and eternal Joy.

CHRISTmas

I was doing some research about Christmas. But I am not satisfied with what I have read. Google and Yahoo offered a shallow meaning of Christmas. Needless to say, they talk about Santa Claus and gifts, and foods and other preparation for the season. They view Christmas as something to celebrate but never really know why. Oh yeah, everybody knows why. It is because Jesus Christ was born on Christmas day. The sad part was that, it ends with it.

What do the Bible says about Christmas?

Matthew 1: 18-25 says:

"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus."

but it doesn't end there. after His birth, according to the Bible He died on the cross to save us from our sins.

according to Mark 13: 39:

At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And at three in the afternoon, Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachtani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?"

When some of those standing near heard this, they said, "Listen, he's calling Elijah."

Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. "Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to take him down." he said.

With loud cry, Jesus breathed His last.

The curtain of the temple was torn in tow from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, "surely this man was the Son of God!"

and His death is not the end, because after three days, Jesus risen. Mark 16:1-8 says,

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after the sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb, and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.

But go, tell His disciples and Peter, "He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see Him, just as He told you.

may this season reminds us not only the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ but also how God give up His son to save us from our sins. may we be reminded that it not just the season for gifts and celebration but it is the season to express our love and gratitude to the Most High by serving and loving Him with all our hearts, with all our soul and with all our strength. (Deuteronomy 6:5)

With God's Blessing

While browsing, I've found a video in youtube of a simple marriage proposal but really sweet. hope you guys enjoy the video as much as I did.

For several days, I've been wanting to put an entry about marriage. Oh, all right, been thinking about it for a week now. How could I not? My facebook wall has been flooded by posts of different pre-nup photos and videos and marriage proposal and a lot more. How could I not be affected of that?

When I was a child, one of my weirdest dream was to become Nick Carter's wife. haha. That's one of the best thing about being a child, you can dream even the most impossible one without being pessimist that it might not come true. I don't give much attention to the details of the wedding as long as my groom is none other than Nick Carter. But of course, I grew up and realization hits me that I cannot marry the guy because he is unreachable.

And now that I have turned 24, what would I want for my wedding? Honestly? Still no idea. I wanted to get married, yes, but I think it wasn't for me. I really don't know. I have this feeling that I will be aging without someone beside me. I am not worried though, but I will be sad in any case that it will really happen.

Being a product of a broken family, for many years I have longed for a complete one. I envy my classmates and friends who has a mother that would always prepare their food, always check on them, and a father who would get into fights if ever his daughter would cry. I envy those things. And so I promised myself that if ever God will allow me to get married, I wouldn't let my children experience what I have gone through. I promised to give them a family that they will forever treasure.

I do not want to sound churchy but one of my prayer is this: I am not asking God to make me a millionaire, I just wanted to have a simple family, and that family will serve Him. I am excited to see my children in their ministries, while me and their daddy are in the ministries as well. I am excited to see us, the whole family, as we attend the Sunday Service together. I am excited for all of that. The only hope I have now, is the hope that God will honor the desires of my heart.

Tired & Broken?

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28


weary - exhaust or tire through overuse or great strain or stress.
burdened - bearing a heavy burden of work or difficulties or responsibilities.

During my Christian walk, dumating ako sa point na nahihiya na akong lumapit kay Lord. Feeling ko kasi nagiging pabigat na ako sa Kanya. Feeling ko kaya ko naman i-solve yung mga problem ko because I was too confident that He is just beside me. True enough, hindi naman talaga Niya ako iniwan. His help is always ready. but the word is "ALWAYS READY", nandyan lang anytime na kailanganin mo. Nandyan lang Siya, nag-iintay na tawagin mo. The Lord has given us free will. Either we will turn to Him or not, it is our choice. He gave us the options.

And during those times na kinakaya kong mag-isa yung pagod at sakit, dun Niya pinarealize sakin na hindi ko talaga kaya. That I need to call Him right away kasi kung hindi, ako din ang kawawa sa huli. Dapat tanggapin ko sa sarili ko na kailangan ko yung tulong Niya. Nahihiya kasi akong lumapit sa Kanya kasi feeling ko palagi na lang akong humihingi ng tulong. Naisip ko kasi, kung sating mga tao yun, magsasawa tayo. Nag-assume ako na baka magsawa sakin si Lord pag palagi akong humihingi ng tulong sa Kanya. Nakalimutan ko na gustong gusto nga pala Niya yun. Na iba ang pagmamahal Niya para sa atin na mga anak Niya compared to the love of our friends here on earth. Gustong gusto Niya na lumalapit tayo sa Kanya at nagsasabi ng nararamdaman natin.

Sabi Niya nga sa Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." tawagin daw natin Siya. At hindi lang Niya tayo sasagutin, parang sinasabi Niya din na: "Wait! There's more! :)" sabi Niya "I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Anak, marami pa Akong ituturo sayo.

Every time na mababasa ko ang Jeremiah 33:3, I can't help myself but be amaze with God's love for His people. Palagi Siyang may nakahandang tulong at pagmamahal para sa atin. Basta tumawag lang tayo.

Prayer is not the privilege of the spiritual elite. Prayer is not for perfect people. Prayer is for people who have a need and a relationship with God that can fill that need.

i feel bad. i don't feel okay.

but whatever it is that i am feeling right now, i still choose to trust You because i know that Your plans are far better than mine. i love You Lord.

Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me to remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and Your plans for my life is always better than my dreams. Amen.